One year later....

Last week I celebrated my first year in Atlanta. Looking back over the past twelve months it seems like a blur at times. Now I can laugh at how horrible my movers were…I figure if you can come out on the other side with a good story anything is worth going through! My first night in Atlanta was spent on an air mattress in an empty apartment. At that point I didn’t even have the energy to care and just enjoyed laying in front of a fire and praying that I got some rest. After I got settled in we had the EPIC snow storm of 2011. For the first time in my life I was snowed in. This may sound crazy but I will take a hurricane any day...they have a path, you have time to come up with a plan, and to evacuate or not but snow just looks pretty (I mean doesn't it look amazing in that pic) but there is an underlying danger if you try to leave. Needless to say winter and I were not the best of friends. I am now better equipped to handle an actual winter with proper accessories. I have learned to layer and my scarf and coat collection has grown. I mean let’s be honest every situation really comes down to the accessories, right!

One of the best things I did upon moving was get involved in a church. I knew this is where I would meet my new community. After all I am a social creature you can’t have me in solitary for too long! I immediately joined a small group and participated in other events to meet new people. One of the strangest things to me in moving was the emotional response. I have often joked that God was putting me through emotional boot camp, to make up for all those years hiding my feelings. When I would leave small group I would sometimes cry on the way home because I missed “my people”. Then I would pep talk myself by saying what is wrong with you, get it together woman, this is where you live now and you have got to make it work! Having extra time on my hands didn’t help either…way too much time to think about anything and everything. The number one lesson that I learned from this whole experience was that I was far too dependent on myself and my relationships in Gainesville. Realizing that I need to be dependent on God through everything has changed my life. Knowing that He is always there no matter where I go has become a great comfort and confidence for me. Stepping out in trust and faith has only strengthened my relationship with God and I know that He has me in Atlanta for a reason bigger than I can even imagine.

My friends laugh when I use my tag line for 2011 “Well the older I get the less I want to put up with the drama.” Life is too short to make a big deal out of nothing or not give something that is important enough attention. Cherish the friends and family that you have in your life. If you love somebody tell them, if you miss somebody tell them, don’t assume people know how you feel if you can’t even own up to it. Granted this is a scary thing sometimes but you should let people know if they are important to you.  God has blessed me with some pretty amazing people. Ones who I can laugh, cry, and be myself with, that is what is it really all about. To surround yourself with people that you actually want to have in your life.  Every relationship is work and it’s up to each person to decide how much they want to invest. As 2011 comes to a close and I start my second year in Atlanta I have no doubts that I am in for another gloriously bumpy ride.

Commissioned as a hope mentor!

Last week I was finally commissioned as a hope mentor through my church. The process involved a lengthy application and interview. It took me half a day to fill out the application. Beyond wanting to know how I grew up and things that I have deal with in my life they asked your views on certain subjects. Not only your views but they wanted you to provide scripture to back up your beliefs. Well I know what I believe but I am not always certain of where to locate that in the Bible so thankfully I have an awesome book..."Find it Fast in the Bible" :) During the interview I was nervous but of course trying to appear oh so confident. At one point I picked up my glass of water and all my nervous energy was challenged into my left hand and the glass was shaking all the way to my mouth, needless to say no more water for the remainder of the interview! First round passed and now on to 10 weeks worth of training.

I learned so much on how to be a better mentor through this program. I also learned so much more about myself and my own issues. Throughout our lives we are shaped by our environment and much of what shapes us happens in our childhoods. Through this training I have been able to take down a few bricks of the wall that I have built over the years. We all develop certain beliefs that are false. Some examples of these are I must prove that I am right to know I am of worth, I must control my circumstances to be secure, emotions always represent truth, I do not measure up, I am inadequate, or others are to blame how I feel. Once we recognize our own false beliefs they must be replaced with God's truth. I can do all things through Christ, my value and worth are found in Christ, God has made me and accepted me, and I am chosen, righteous, holy, a saint: a new creation are just some of God's loving truths.  I find that when I let my false beliefs take over I have to repeat God's truth like a mantra. Take a few deep breaths and realize where my identity, worth, and help come from.

This week I met with my first care receiver (this is the person wanting to be mentored) and it was awesome! I truly felt God's spirit there guiding the conversation and I can't wait to be a part of her journey. Leaving our first meeting I was affirmed once again by God that this is what He wants from me. Everything that I have experienced over the past ten years has lead me to this place. To experience a moment of clarity where you realize that this is something that God actually created you for is beyond words. We are all new creations when we accept Christ into our lives and have a purpose. What a privilege to partner with God in changing peoples lives. God is in the business of changing people not me. It is only through His guidance and support that I am able to serve in this role.

Beginning of School

So I am starting my third week of school.  The Sunday before the first night I felt like I was back in elementary school...so excited for the next day, can't really go to sleep, wondering what will it be like...however I did not sleep in my clothes like I used to when I was in kindergarten! I couldn't wait to get done with work so that I could go home and log in for school.  As I sit here typing that it seem strange, to log in for school?!?

My, oh my school has changed in the past ten years.  I used to attend classes and have discussion with my classmates now it is done through discussion boards.  Assignments are posted on the web instead of the blackboard. However the program for accessing your classes is actually called Blackboard, go figure! Listening to my professor lecture is through a video instead of in person.  One thing that I do love about online school is the liberty to work at my own pace.  I am learning to be disciplined and put some things aside...such as my TV shows.  Some days my DVR is busting at the seams! I have come to the realization that I watch WAY too much TV..however this isn't changing my show choices but it has opened my eyes to the things that I spend time on.

My first two classes are Theology and Apologetics.  It is nice to be able to explore my faith deeper and learn ways to defend it.  God is teaching me so many things through this journey and I and taking it week by week.  Allowing Him to have control over the situation.  I know pursuing education towards a new career is totally God inspired because I have had a passion ignited for learning.  I never wanted to go back to school and have to study but I find myself craving to learn each lesson. My vocabulary is also expanding. I had to download a dictionary app on my phone since I have to look up about 5-10 words per week that I don't know.  Three of my new favorite words are prolegomena, volitional, and propitiation.  God is also teaching me to prioritize my time...I actually woke up early the other day to read since I wanted to go out of town for the weekend.  Nothing but G-O-D could get me out of bed early!

Life Remodel...please pardon the dust

A few weeks ago I came home from church and God said hey let's have a chat.  My first thought was ok I have a feeling this is going to be a big one.  Last "chat" we had  God told me to pack up and move hundreds of miles away from my home to Atlanta. Step one of this life altering journey. Moving was such a whirlwind experience. After months of contract negotiations my job was secure and it was time to move...in just 6 weeks! Did I mention it was in the middle of the holiday season.  God always likes to make things a little more interesting. So here I was in a new town...just me and God. I knew that God had moved me here for more than a job. He had a bigger plan for me.  Within the 1st month I started attending Buckhead church and joined a small group. I knew that getting into a small group was essential for my survival.  I am a social creature  and can only stay at home watching reality TV for so long.

Month after month goes by and I patiently waiting on the big reveal for my relocation.  At this point I am missing my life in Gainesville, FL.  I had lived there for 12 years since college and had made friends who I consider family and developed a life there.  Why did I have to move to keep waiting? Why I ask...the answer was so that I could develop my relationship with God.  I no longer had a hundred distractions that would silence His voice.  He was teaching me how to be dependent on Him.  I have always been a very good at being dependent on myself. That's probably the middle child in me but to depend on someone else is a much harder task. 

God said to me...BCB I want you to spend some time with you this afternoon.  What else can you say but yes. It's not like I could tell the Lord weeellll can we do this in like an hour or so I have Toddler and Tiaras and Housewives on DVR and I really want to catch on my shows. No, not really an option. He then proceeds to reveal to me that He wants me to go back to school. Umm excuse me (twisting my finger in my ear) did I hear you correctly? Yes after 10 years of graduating college as a nuclear medicine technologist He wants me to go back and pursue a degree in christian counseling.  I firmly believe that God has been preparing me for that exact moment over the past 10 years.  All the the counseling and mentoring I have done has shaped this passion.  I want people to understand that their identity and worth comes from Christ.

It is amazing that God had to move me into solitary confinement to get me to truly listen. There is no more of an opportune time to go on this adventure than now.  I am not over committed or too busy like I was in Gainesville.  I have the time now to truly devote to going back to school.  So here I am walking down a path that God had planned for me all along. 

"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

God declares that He has plans for us. The key is having a deep relationship with Him and allowing Him to guide our everyday lives.  Amazing what happens when you quit focusing on the puzzle pieces and step back to take a look at the whole thing.  So starting September 19, I will begin my first college class in ten years at Liberty University in their online psychology program with an emphasis in christian counseling.  All the reservations I had about going back to school have been  pushed aside and replaced with excitement for this new phase in my life.   Told a friend the other day can you imagine all the things I will learn about counseling...her reply "are you going to start charging your friends for advice now?" Ha!!! 

Sparkle like you mean it!



A dear friend refers to me as her sparkly friend.  I know this reference comes from my love of accessories. I am a total magpie when it comes to something shiny.  Earrings, bracelets, rings, purses, shoes.....I have so many that I don't even try to count them and I continually bring home more.  You know because I need them lol! The reasons that I like sparkly things is because it makes me smile and therefore produces happiness and joy.

"I am the light of the world. Men crawl through their lives cursing the darkness, but all the while I am shining brightly. I desire each of My followers to be a light-bearer. The Holy Spirit who lives in you can shine from your face, makin Me visible to people around you, as you wend your way through this day. Hold my hand in joyful trust, for I never leave your side. The light of my presence is shining upon you. Brightnen up the world by reflecting who I am." Excerpt from Jesus Calling by Sarah Young

Did you know that God calls us to sparkle? The Holy Spirit lives inside us and because of this we can be a reflection of God.

“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.  Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.  In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven." (Matthew 5:14-16 NIV)

We are to be out for all the world to see relecting our Heavenly Father. As the verse says we are not supposed to keep this gift to ourselves.  We are supposed let our light shine...come on sing it with me....this little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine :)

"When Jesus spoke again to the people, he said, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”  (John 8:12)

Jesus reminds us in John that whoever follows Him will never walk in darkness.  If there is one terrifying thing to me it is being in the dark.  So much so that I pretty much have a flashlight in about every room in my apartment just in case the lights go out.  Jesus is the light of the world and the more time that we spend with Him the more we focus on the light instead of the darkness.  We all go through some dark times in our lives. Life happens to us or because of us but we always have a choice as to how we react towards trials and tribulations in our lives.  What do you choose to focus on? Do you focus on your circumstances or the One who can get you through this time in your life? What we choose to focus on is the same thing that we are going to reflect to those around us.

Just as I could not go without at least one accessory on each day, I can't go through life without my Lord and Savior.  He is where I find my true identity and worth. So as you head out each day remember to sparkle like you mean it! Reflect God's light and love to the world around you.  You have no idea what a difference it will make in somebody's life.....especially your own.

Easter.....a time for celebration and reflection

This Easter is the first year that I have not celebrated with either family or close friends.  Having moved to Atlanta only a few months ago I am still establishing relationships within my church.  The plan was to go home but we all know how best laid plans turn out....due to an extremely expensive headlight (why oh why did I have to get the top of the line Maxima) I had to cancel going home for Easter.  At first this upset me a little but I know that God has a hand in everything.  The lessons He revealed to me this weekend would not have happened if I had been home.  By not leaving town I had the extra time to really seek Him.

On Friday I had lunch with a new friend and went with her to volunteer in the Good Friday service.  We were like communion warriors! Preparing the elements for two services that night.....over 300 trays of grape juice!!! Then I had the pleasure of serving communion which was a first for me.  How humbling to present the elements that remind us of Jesus' sacrifice for us. Standing on the side lines of the sanctuary, the room was filled wall to wall with people.  A thought ran across my mind....what if each of us did our part? There is probably about 2,000 people in this room....what if we all listened to our heavenly Father and did what He asked of us.  That would make our world a much different place.

The night before Easter I decided to read of the account in Matthew.  Funny how at Christmas time we always read the story of Jesus' birth but I can't really ever remember reading about His death before Easter.  It breaks my heart to read how he was plotted against, beaten and betrayed.  All for a greater purpose. All for us. Easter is a celebration of our Lord's resurrection but this year I was given insight into two other aspects.

First was when Judas decided to betray Jesus in Matthew 26:14-16...

"¹⁴ Then one of the Twelve—the one called Judas Iscariot—went to the chief priests ¹⁵ and asked, “What are you willing to give me if I deliver him over to you?” So they counted out for him thirty pieces of silver. ¹⁶ From then on Judas watched for an opportunity to hand him over. "

Judas obviously betrayed the trust of Jesus but another definition of betrayal is to disappoint the hopes or expectations of; God has expectations of us and we betray Him time and time again. Judas betrayed Jesus for 30 silver coins.  We do the same and for what? For fame, wealth, status, glory, power....what is it that is more important to you than living up to God's expectations.

The second revelation for me comes in Matthew 28: 16-20...

"¹⁶ Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. ¹⁷ When they saw him, they worshiped him; but some doubted. ¹⁸ Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. ¹⁹ Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, ²⁰ and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” "

After Jesus had been resurrected he meets up with his disciples. To reveal to them that he was indeed alive but to also give them a commission.  He leaves each of us with that commission as well.. I don't know about you but I think it is the least that I can do for all that He has done for me.  Christ bore crucifixion and death to pay for all of our sins.  As it was prophesied in Isaiah 53: 5 " But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed."

Obedience to Christ should not be out of guilt or duty but out of the love that we have for Him. 

Strong woman versus a woman of strength...

I found this poem through email a while ago but when I moved a few of my friends made it into a piece of artwork. It hangs right next to my bed and I find myself reading it often...always striving to be a woman of strength.

A strong woman works out every day
to keep her body in shape
but a woman of strength looks deep inside
to keep her soul in shape

A strong woman isn't afraid
of anything
but a woman of strength shows courage
in the midst of her fear

A strong woman won't let anyone
get the best of her
but a woman of strength gives the best
of her to everyone

A strong woman makes mistakes
and avoids the same in the futurebut a woman of strength realizes life's mistakes
can also be blessings and capitalizes on them

A strong woman walks
sure footedly
but a woman of strength knows
when to ask for help

A strong woman wears the look
of confidence on her face
but a woman of strength
wears grace

A strong woman has faith
that she is strong enough for the journey
but a woman of strength has faith
that it is in the journey that she will become strong

Oh how I love my GPS!

One of my most treasured items that I have since moving to the big city is my GPS! After a few weeks of bonding I finally picked out a name...Anastasia. She has been a life saver. Many times showing me where I needed to go. Grocery store, mall, post office , church, etc... Funny thing about my GPS is that I do whatever she tells me without question. This is kinda strange because I don't like anybody telling me what to do...yeah I am kind of stubborn that way :) 

I was given an awesome devotional "Jesus calling" by Sarah Young. Every day it emphasizes that God has a plan for each of us but that is dependent on our trust in Him and continually staying in communication to hear exactly what He wants us to do or where He wants us to be.

Isaiah 30:21

"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you saying, "This is the way; walk in it."

Just as Anastasia prompts me with directions of right turn ahead or take the freeway, God also gives us directions. Sometimes prompting us to move forward, stay where we are, or retreat and never look back. The one key element for these instructions is to get plugged in and listen. Your GPS doesn't do you any good sitting in your glove compartment. Well neither does your bible do you any good sitting on a shelf collecting dust. Whether we realize it or not we have the awesome privilege of owning bibles, being able to express our faith in public, and worship our God without fear of persecution.

Psalm 32:8
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you and watch over you."

In this verse there are four promises that God makes to us on our journey. That He will instruct and teach us but He doesn't just stop once He equips us with knowledge. He also promises to counsel and watch over us. This is indicative of a relationship. God isn't in the business of just teaching us and once we learn the ropes we are set out on our own...left to our own devices. That's what happens when you are in a new city with your GPS. You are so dependent on it in the beginning...after time you learn your way around and eventually you don't need to use it very often. God doesn't want that kind of relationship with us. He craves for a daily dependent relationship with you and me. He leads us step by step but we have to be willing to do what He asks and this doesn't always coincide with "our" agenda, now does it.  However who has the bigger picture perspective..us or God??

We are under the false assumption that we know what is best for us and don't even think about consulting with our heavenly Father. Every choice that we make turn us down a path...sometimes it is the right one and other times we have to recalculate to find our way back to God. The most important thing is that God never leaves us...He is always waiting with an outstretched hand ready for us to follow Him.

Plans.....sometimes they work out and other times not so much!

As every new year rolls around so do the plans. Plans to get in better shape, plans not to be so stressed out, plans to be more spontaneous and do something different..with planning comes expectations.  Expectations that are sometimes met but often times we are faced with disappointment. 

The biggest planning situation of my life has been relocating to Atlanta, Ga.  The reason for such a big move was for a job opportunity and because God said that it was time to go.  You know when He tells you it's time you really can't ignore that!  Everything happened so quickly and I had to burst into action planning.  Getting moving quotes, finding a place to live, forwarding my mail ...the list goes on and on. The movers are supposed to come on Monday and deliver my stuff on Tuesday. Sounds easy enough right? Well Monday rolls around and I still haven't heard from the movers, so I give them a call.  They aren't coming until Tuesday.  Ok mild frustration sets in but no big deal.  I can be flexible and I have plenty of things to finish up. Waiting in anticipation on Tuesday for the moving truck to arrive at 2:00 pm...well they finally arrive at 6:30 pm!!! At this point I am beyond frustrated and ready to get everything loaded and on my way.  Did I mention that I had to be in Atlanta by lunch time on Wednesday. 

Trying to be hopeful that my furniture would arrive by Thursday...fast forward to Saturday when the moving truck finally arrived. However it would have been way to easy to just unload the furniture no we need one more curve ball.  They say that they can't fit the moving truck into the complex.  At this point I am exhausted, stressed, and beyond amused!!! I sit against the wall of my bare living room feeling desperate. In that moment I know of the only one who can make this move happen.  Sitting there with nothing left I prayed.  I prayed to a God of power over impossibility and from where I was sitting this looked like an impossible situation. Finally they got the truck through (the same way I suggested an hour before but you know that nobody listens to a woman, HA!) and my all my stuff was finally mine again.

As the new year started I resolved to do a daily devotion. The first day had a verse that I needed to be reminded of during this new step...

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

No matter what our plans may be, ultimately God has a plan for us.  It says "declares the Lord". To declare means to announce, this isn't God sending a vague message or whispering. NO, He is stating very clearly that He has plans for us.  During my relocation I was at the mercy of my movers.  Waiting on when they would show up, empty promises and frustration. Listen very closely...we don't have to wait for God to show up. He is ALWAYS there and always has the plan for us.  Question is... are you ready to listen?

I had a great life in Gainesville, FL but one day God looked at me and said are you ready?  With His hand extended what else could I say but yes Father!